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The View From Here is Not to Be Believed

by Charlotte Moroz & Guy Capecelatro III

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1.
Moratorium 03:28
Moratorium Moratorium on fighting We used to have such a good time Fighting I used to snatch up your cd and you’re crying Cry crying Crying Cry crying And Andrew took your diet coke And then there’d be a scene til something broke And mom would have to tell us to stop being shitheads And there were dish towels on fire Every day there seemed to be something on fire Something on fire Fire fire Something on fire Fire fire Moratorium Moratorium On fighting We used to have such a good time fighting Until you came to us And we put down our weapons they were still covered in blood and we still had a thirst for sprayin’ each other’s internal organs onto the sky and we play nice nice nice and we play nice nice nice but behind those kind eyes there were warrior eyes behind those kind eyes there were warrior eyes moratorium moratorium on fighting on fighting on fighting we used to have such a good time on fighting on fighting
2.
Dogs on the Bed It’s not you love I don’t wanna be apart I’m just tired of looking at your hammerhead shark You know I get uncomfortable with dogs on the bed Maybe when we’re making love they could stay outside instead
3.
Hello Face 02:07
Hello Face Hello face it’s weird to see you I try and avoid you you’re never on my mind Hello peepholes someone dug you out To let the light in but there’s never near enough This body makes me nervous I’m such a fragile circus Prattling around the house Someday they’ll let me out Hello dad’s nose stuck here like a pickle A pyramid a ski jump plopped there in the middle Hello legs thanks for carrying me around Without you I’d be stuck here everyone needs to move This body makes me nervous Bubbling with purpose Call me a dreamer But I could use a breather
4.
Brain Wars 02:56
Brain Wars I know I’m not graceful never been accused of being cool I can’t keep my nails cut always run out of fuel My mom says my mustache doesn’t quite work One time I got shingles goddamn did that hurt And my first kiss was my cousin Liz High on Sunkist on the Jungle Jim Did you notice my scar I fell from a tree Chasing a cat I was twenty-three I’m not good with names don’t go to parties I never eat Brie I prefer hard cheese And my real dad is now a woman I see her cutting meat at the deli Sometimes it feels like my good and bad selves Are locked in some harrowing war Vying to gain control of my brain And I can’t take it any more I can’t take it any more
5.
Bread to Bread God I didn’t wanna take any pictures I wish you didn’t see me I would like to become invisible And crawl-up on the wall like a horror baby Baby Why do I lose my nerve When you come over I had a plan/ to end this I said to myself I might as well be a clown Oh I wanted that warm hot bread Is this what it comes down to I get kinda hungry and then it lets me off the hook I forget everything I’m doing and my plan To finish up with you I feel like a fool I do I do I like living in someone else’s conch shell I’m a hermit crab that Steals other people’s houses I like to imagine that is my life this is my bed and my closet My clothes are always my own My clothes are always my own So is this the way it will be I do believe that I love you I would rather just see if we could go bread to bread Meal to meal I feel like a fool I do I do I feel like a fool I do I do I’m tired I’m a tired crab I missed you I can see all your brokenness You’re like a cracked desert floor I can see all your cracks do I want your cracks I love you when you lie next to me I love you I’ll one day make a move
6.
A Kick in the Ribs I’m not the rabbit that sat on your deck all summer Waiting for you to come out While you watched Netflix chain smoked and wrote poems Holed up inside of your house I’m more like a mirror that helps when you’re bleary And tries to reel you in I’m not your aunt Cindy who says you look pretty Even when you gotten too thin I’m not your postman who flirts through the window I’ll mean it when I ask how you’ve been I wanna be realer help you see clearer Everyone always blows smoke Maybe a shower I’ll make a sandwich And sort through the bills on the table I can’t sit idle hands tied immobile Watching you grow more disabled I’m not your mother who never comes over And sends you the checks in the mail Then when she calls up you never answer Somehow she feels like she’s failed I try to be better we all need some pressure Or maybe a kick in the ribs
7.
Maybe I Don’t Wanna Be With Anyone Maybe I don’t wanna be with anyone Maybe I don’t wanna be with anyone I do quite well on my own On my own What’s it gonna be? God I love to put my pillows all 4 of them All over the bed like it’s a bear den I only use one underneath my neck I’ll weave my own basket I’ll keep stretching myself out I’ll be the whole thing Maybe I wanna be alone forever Maybe I don’t wanna be with anyone Maybe I don’t wanna be with anyone I can do just fine on my cell phone On my own I’ll tell you how it goes And I have to tell you It feels so different When I’m in one of those places Where I might die if I don’t see you I might die in a terrible death I might melt down like a candle wick to the ground Through the floor boards And oh be forgotten in the foundation of the house Maybe I don’t wanna be with anyone Maybe I don’t wanna be with anyone I can do just fine on my own Tell how it goes And the end I’m going for 104 years
8.
New Symbols 01:31
New Symbols When I think of new symbols I make a list of pictures more Than a list it’s a helpful okay I’ll stop and be clearer there’s a Lot of light too much what can I Hold a bucket and catch some of Your essential oils can’t you Unhaunt this place give me a Prize for my sparkle you’ll never be different should I sign relief I want seagull choruses I want elephants I want squawking birds big leaves I’ve promised more to me I’m weed-whacking It’s a lifetime it begins it whacks I’m weed-whacking
9.
Regular 01:55
Regular Photobooth I got the license plate Wrote it down on my wrist Then it started raining Now it doesn’t exist There’s something wrong with I’m better off on my own Cars drive by and heckle me Whenever I leave my home I’m lost I fall I wanna be regular But I’m not I’m wrong Planes passing overhead Where do they go I always fantasize One of them might explode There’s something wrong with me You said it when we were high Now it’s all I think about You can see it in my eyes I cough I trip I wanna be regular I wanna be regular but I’m not
10.
Toronto 02:38
Toronto Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto let’s go let’s go Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto let’s go let’s go We have a way of looking At each other sand on skin on Your mouth makes this funny condom I just try not to flinch And the rest of me is at the beach Sunning on your raise just my admin building struggles with delays Unscheduled feelings and forays Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto let’s go let’s go Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto let’s go let’s go Let’s go let’s go let’s go Let’s go let’s go let’s go I know these people I’ve popped out to meet em My killer color raisins The fancy tub vanilla You hushed a duck I ate em My mother swears you’re charming But the lettuce and the onion and the wayward tunnel out to sea my god we’re out to sea Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto it’s all I’m hearing Toronto let’s go let’s go Let’s go let’s go let’s go Let’s go let’s go let’s go
11.
I'm All Frozen I’m all frozen Like a pair of pants That’s been dipped in water And then put in the freezer Or outside if it’s cold outside And left for a night As long as it doesn’t thaw over night I don’t wanna move I’m like a tree If you planted a tree and it stayed there And wasn’t dug up and it wasn’t moved Or ground up in a chipper I’m not chipper I’m just thinking about supper I want more food than this I forgot to buy the groceries Goddamn it all Oh It’s so hard to do normal things Like that Imagine if I was in charge of someone else
12.
Whit's End 02:08
Whit’s End I’m at my whit’s end Can you help me figure out I’m at my whit’s end Can you help me help me out Brain can’t do it And Rain in sewage My parents through it My longing to do it And the land keeps striking back The pipes can’t seem to fill it out The land knows we’re dying back Drying out But my sanity’s just around the bend Can you, would you document The river’s just around the bend Can’t you can’t you And the land keeps on striking back The pipes can’t seem to fill it out The land knows we’re dying back Drying out I’m at my whit’s end Can you help me figure out I’m at my whit’s end Can you help me help me out
13.
Little Squirrel Shit yeah it’s me hiding way up in this tree And the view from here’s not to be believed Goddamn my mom we never really get along Maybe it’s the mania or maybe the drugs that she’s on I’m a little squirrel perched on a pile of nuts They’ll never find me If I can keep my big mouth shut I never keep my big mouth shut
14.
Smelling Smells I’m smelling a smell and I’m worried That the smell might be me But I don’t care selfishly I’m on the bus but where am I going Maybe I took the wrong medicine I think I ate your estrogen There’s all of this air But I still can’t breathe Maybe these old lungs Are full of disease I bought an ice cream at the deli But now I’m worried it’s melting Where is my stop who is yelling I remember when we were young My brother bred these rabbits Kept them hidden in our closet With piles of rotting carrots And somehow That’s the smell I’m smelling now
15.
This Year is the Year These birds these beautiful birds They look good enough to eat And the neighbor working on his barn We always joke it would make a nice fire My roof leaks and I can’t find the source But I always blame the squirrels I wish I knew what my grandpa knew About fixing the sink and all other things But this year this year is the year That I learn to bake a cake And darn my holy socks And get that squirrel out of my walls Things are only getting weirder I can’t remember a warmer winter I’m not speaking to my dad And I’m bracing for civil war I know I know you were only being generous Sorry your foot ended up in my mouth I rarely have guests And I hop that you’ll come back I used to be a boxer a skinny pimpled boxer But I couldn’t take a punch That’s always been my problem in life I could never take a punch
16.
Life Purpose 00:19
Life Purpose Yes Come in I’ve been waiting For you Life purpose I’ve been waiting For you I made dinner
17.
Take My Toaster I’ve been fucked up like a new truck Driving in a demolition derby I feel squirrelly I know my body doesn’t like me We’ve been going at each other all these years it’s so weird Take my toaster and my old shirts And the books I never got around to read I concede
18.
Piggy Back 02:44
Piggy Back We are all each other’s monsters You’ll know it’s true I put the Apple on the bed hold it there Look at it look at it I’m hoping your hair curled the Same as your dad’s There’s a semblance you should See these words I read Look at it look at it Give me a piggy back In the afterlife is there freedom From choice it sucks here Give me a piggy back In the afterlife is there freedom From choice it sucks here I ate pizza in my bed I’m adult shaped that’s it There’s more a magical kingdom I’ve been in a storm so I take Care nailed down windows in The wind I went to Walmart in A small town community it’s where My church I went there last Wednesday I’ll be at the dock at 10 You can change your mind You can always change I forgive the things you said You can change your mind Give me a piggy back In the afterlife is there freedom From choice it sucks here I ate pizza in my bed I’m adult shaped that’s it

about

This was written and recorded as part of the RPM Challenge in February of 2020.

credits

released March 6, 2020

All songs written by Charlotte Moroz & Guy Capecelatro III.
Recorded at The Electric Cave and Squirrel Sounds Studio.
Charlotte Moroz sang, Jim Rioux played piano on track 10 and drums on tracks 1,2, 11 & 16, Marc McElroy played Hammond organ on tracks 2 & 7 and bass on 7, Gregg Porter played drums on tracks 7 &13 and Guy Capecelatro III played the rest of the instruments.

Cover drawing by Charlotte Moroz based on a t-shirt designed by B. Mossman.

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burst & bloom records Maine

Burst & Bloom is a small, independent record label and book publisher based in Kittery and Bath, ME.

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