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Scatter the Remains

by Guy Capecelatro III

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1.
My Every Cell I was forged in blood and sperm and smoke and sweat On the night my mother and my father met Though they never got to have their dance I am grateful for the confluence of chance I’ve been walking through these woods for near a week Haven’t seen a soul or had to speak Though my mind can be a twisted well I am vibrating within my every cell Let me be the blood that courses through your veins The engine that will drag these rusted ragged trains Let me be the muscles of your straining heart That keep the thing from blowing all apart Blowing all apart Sometimes when the moonlight hits just so The branches of the trees begin to glow The cacophony of night nearly subsides And I feel some gently swaying like the tides Jeremy your words are still resounding Even when my head and heart are pounding Time and circumstance took you away I think about you nearly every day Let me be the blood that courses through your veins The engine that will drag these rusted ragged trains Let me be the muscles of your straining heart That keep the thing from blowing all apart Blowing all apart
2.
Unknowable 03:50
Unknowable A Ray of light breaks through parted clouds Illuminates the ragged barn And the horses standing idly Looking out across the farm Though I clearly heard the words you spoke Might have missed the implication Thought you said that we were drowning here Now I know I was mistaken Where I saw some natural ending You supposed a new beginning Nobody was right this time Walking through the pines in early dusk You hold your hand out as a gun I fall down and writhe upon the ground You walk close and shoot again You once said I was unknowable And that my mind was like a well I may have called your heart an iceberg That I had hoped to one day melt Where I saw some natural ending You supposed a new beginning Nobody was right this time You want to excise every memory Erase the things you can’t forget These eight months here at your uncle’s house Taught me more than I’d admit You find forgiveness in the smallest ways Wrapped up tightly like a gift Where I saw some natural ending You supposed a new beginning Nobody was right this time
3.
Atoms 04:30
Atoms We’re all gonna die she said then raised her fist to sky Toward some unseen deity then laughingly fell to the ground And high as I was it got me a little bit scared I’ll admit drawn to affliction and the darker side of the road Then Haley pulled off her pants and ran like she was on fire She looked like the Flash like a blur like everywhere all at once Spinning slow on the merry-go-round I leaned back and looked at the stars And swore to god that I’d get right The constellations were dancing quiet and I saw ones that I’d never known And watched the tiniest atoms collide I sat up and took off my shoes walked the path to the lake Staring down at my feet and the trail I carved through the snow Everything stretched and recoiled as I finally got to the water I looked up and saw through the dark someone floating away I disrobed then dove without thought the cold like a blade through my lungs Then Haley’s laugh in my ears she started swimming to me
4.
Doing Time 04:17
Doing Time Is there something wrong she asked At the table hands clasped Is there anything at all that I can do Sorry love I said I’ve got spiders in my head And my mind is tangled as a web Sit by me she coaxed And lit up her last smoke Took a drag then passed it off to me Let’s get in the truck And drive back to Kentucky Leave all this behind Feels like doing time The night came on quick Like it always did But the lights from the shipyard Burned so clear and hard Annabelle my dear I don’t belong here I told you on the day that we arrived I stepped to the porch To feel the coming storm Hoping she would follow me and sit But she got on the phone Called my brother John Who always knows exactly what to do When he arrived I broke down and cried And Annabelle I heard her crying too Let’s get in the truck And drive back to Kentucky Leave all this behind Feels like doing time The night came on quick Like it always did But the lights from the shipyard Burned so clear and hard John in that strange glow Surrounded by some halo Pulled me to his body like a child We went back inside I’m all right I lied And closed the door to keep the cold at bay
5.
Lydia's Song 02:10
Lydia’s Song I’m watching snowflakes falling Filter through the sky Sometimes I get so nervous Ice skating at night I can’t believe I’m ten years old Seeing time and space unfold Our neighbors on the lake Horses pull the bobhouse Thick breath hangs in the air I’m close as they’ll allow I’m the strongest girl alive Shooting stars swim in my eyes I’m the strongest girl alive Shooting stars swim in my eyes
6.
Quiet Escape 03:53
Quiet Escape I couldn’t keep you the way you would be kept Watched outside through the window where you slept Quietly I sang my sad song As the owl and the crickets sang along Your father awake in the living room next door Glow of his cigarette dancing like a whore Slowly I lifted the window Stepped from the cold winter snow Pulled off my coat and laid it on the chair Got undressed and I mimed the lord’s prayer Putting my fingers to your neck Watched my muscles strain and flex Muffled through the walls I heard your father’s call Charlotte my grace are you okay I held in my breath as the light left your head And breathed in the air you expelled Then through the door your father like a bear Eyes all agape as he saw us laying there Quickly I dove through the window As the glass shattered there below Out in the night amidst the moon and stars Your father’s voice ringing from afar Hauntingly echoed through my brain As I made my quiet escape
7.
More Real 05:15
More Real Had a pretty good situation With a neighbor on the second floor She had a kid away at school And liked to dance over at the grange hall We spun around on Saturday nights End up sweating in her bed She worked the counter at Petey’s grill And would always be gone by light I’d wake up to the neighborhood punks Bellowing on the front stoop Her cat never trusted me much Staring from the fire escape And sure I got to looking at her old letters Stashed in her winter sweaters I learned some things I should never have known Made me feel even more alone Made me miss how I used to feel When everything felt so real My mother still calls my phone Though I almost never pick it up Still it’s nice to hear her voice Talking how I used to talk Some days my shoes feel tight Though I haven’t had a drink in a while Still I think about it all the time Like Looking for a place to drown And in the mornings all by myself Laying in the dirty sheets I remember when I moved away With everything still ahead And yeah I might have skimmed through her diary But didn’t read it entirely I learned some things I couldn’t believe Made me feel like I’m a thief Made me miss how I used to feel When everything felt more real I used to wanna live in Spain Sleep through the afternoons Sangria on the terrace Looking out over the water
8.
Scattershot 05:36
Scattershot Holed up in some shitty old motel Wallowing in books and putrid smells Living off of stolen credit cards Cutting up your Haldol into thirds A poor vacation a meditation a pause Every day the evening comes on quick You can’t remember anything you did Latency has made your hunger larger Drawing through the night like Henry Darger Sleeping in your clothes outcome presupposed and true Weeks fly scattershot in the sky Hoping somehow you’ll survive Waiting out the passing storm Like a butterfly you’ll transform But you grow ugly and sour and bent The nature of the solitude you bear Burns like ether hanging in the air That kid was all that you had going on Now he’s in Tacoma with his mom You left Tennessee like a clemency from jail Waiting for some god to reappear Yelling like a drunken auctioneer Solitaire and whiskey and tv Trying to remember to believe Thoughts like sluggish bees flying wildly then fall There’s something in the way these people live That seems a revelation or a gift Solitude and silence will make you whole Vacuum out the cobwebs in your soul And get you right again
9.
Stupid Moon 03:33
Stupid Moon I’m like a fire tonight A recipe for disaster The stupid pale moon reminds me of everything All that I try to forget Waiting outside with your lit cigarette And I’m inside the house tearing things down Camping in Utah crossing the river Watching these leaves fall Longing and wailing wishing for something Or nothing at all I’m hungry I’m famished My appetite insatiable I don’t trust myself with anything breakable Cause I break everything And you were so you so delicate All of the good things are always so brittle Tonight I’m a carnival I’m like a hurricane Of chaos and pain I’ll break the surface tear myself open Scatter the remains
10.
Everyone’s Empty I was turning in bed Splintering thoughts in my head Praying to a god with deafening ears Wishing to disappear I realize it’s fruitless Everything’s useless I’m always holding my breath Replay the words that you said Revising editing changing the script Waiting for something to shift I realize I’m guilty Everyone’s filthy The way the night poisons my mind Shifts my certainty slows down time Fortify your resolve Listen to quivering walls Hold back the urge to scream at the world Embrace the absurd I realize I’m empty Everything tempts me I made some mistakes Repeated them every day Accepted a path busted my ass Living the role I was cast I realize my quandary Everyone’s empty The way the night poisons my mind Shifts my certainty slows down time

about

This album was written and recorded February of 2014 with songs written and recorded, bare-bones, then sent to Chris Decato to produce and realize. Additional vocals by Mara Flynn, Emily Hope Price and Jocelyn Mackenzie.

credits

released November 11, 2014

Guy Capecelatro III-vocals, guitars
Mara Flynn-vocals
Emily Hope Price-vocals
Jocelyn Mackenzie-vocals
Jamie Decato-drums
Chris Decato-vocals, guitars, keyboards, bass, drums, treatments

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burst & bloom records Maine

Burst & Bloom is a small, independent record label and book publisher based in Kittery and Bath, ME.

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