1. |
A Heavier Heavy
04:05
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A Heavier Heavy
Haven’t been arrested in months now
I’ve been driving my brother’s snowplow
Finding all these mountains impressive
If not a little aggressive
When I call you up you sound further and further away
Sleeping in the moldiest basement
Leaning into feeling complacent
Carving out these tiny rituals
Still collecting small residuals
If I’m lucky I’ll never leave I’ll die here in my sleep
Rowing on this rowing machine
Try to keep my body clean
Put my pants on when I leave
Doing my best to believe
Wearing my dead father’s old hats
Trying to avoid the dog tracks
Walking through suburban neighborhoods
Doing all the things I think I should
Maybe there’s a YMCA I need to recalibrate
Ketamine and antipsychotics
Making me feel extra robotic
You called me a terrible person
Leaving everyone tired and hurting
I remember leaving Chicago driving through the soft new snow
Running on this running machine
Trying hard to be less mean
Think about my folks and grieve
Doing my best to believe
All the lights from down in the city
Leaking through to make it all pretty
Some days I see an open door
But I don’t belong there anymore
There’s always a heavier heavy
You can come when you’re ready
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2. |
Tricky Map
04:01
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Tricky Map
Quarry jumping with You and Sac
Had to clear the granite ledge
Never any turning back
When we walked to the edge
Never knew how deep that water was
How far down to go
Never one to waste a buzz
You said you had to know
Goddamned you made us laugh
Whenever we were gettin’ high
Your mind was such a tricky map
Shifting all the time
You had to go and steal that car
And dump it into the river
We all knew you’d go too far
That your ideas were bigger
Down there in Mexico
You got into some trouble with the feds
You couldn’t find a way out
So you fled
You finally found your dead end
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3. |
Something to Someone
03:10
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Something to Someone
My population is falling off
I’m growing tender weaker and soft
There’s rain in the floorboards one light doesn’t work
When I wake in the mornings everything hurts everything hurts
Some days hit me like a stun gun
I wanna be something to someone
I remember my grandma saying time is a myth
Somehow when it’s Autumn I still feel like that kid
Watching these black crows stare steely at me
I grow tense and nervous naturally naturally
Some days hit me like a stun gun
I wanna be something to someone
These clouds look like mountains when I am squinting
Sometimes I wonder what they’ve been thinking
Maybe we have no time we’re nearly complete
This being all human feels caked in defeat caked in defeat
Some days hit me like a stun gun
I wanna be something to someone
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4. |
Notions
04:54
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NOTIONS
You’re tired again; you need some time alone
But I need to know that you’ll come back again
The snow outside it falls so thick and slow
I always think this is the end
And when the skies have cleared tonight
And we’re holding hands beneath the stars
Can you tell me that we’ll be alright
That my mind won’t go too far
All we are are notions from some other world
Shaped just like the patterns in their dreams
But if you loved me like you said you would
Maybe We’d become just you and me
Remember when we drove up to the mountains
And hoped we’d to gain better view
The cliffs and how they rose-up beside us
The pills and how got me through
We spent some time among the horses
How their bodies brought my body back
I stroked the shy one on her dappled nose
And you caressed her slender neck
All we are are notions from some other world
Shaped just like the patterns in their dreams
But if you loved me like you said you would
Maybe We’d become just you and me
Now the dog is sunning in the grass
And the trees, well they’re almost greening
You said the days are moving way too fast
And you hadn’t done your pruning
Let us take in that April sky tonight
Let us hold hands beneath the stars
And you can tell me it’ll be alright
That my mind won’t go too far
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5. |
Wrongy Wrong
04:21
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Wrongy Wrong
I’ve been walking along this line with a restless god keeping time
There’s water in the carburetor gumming it all up
I’m tired of waiting I’m nervous and shaking
There’s nothing you can hold over me that won’t dissolve into the air
Waiting for a truck to pick me up I thought I was made of stronger stuff
But I’m wrong I’m always wrongy wrong
I’m watching and sweating I’m always forgetting
No one comes to Texas when the train is riding squarely in its track
Here I am at another precipice struggling so hard to exist
Wishing for a way to get out of here my god it’s been the weirdest year
And my friends tell me it’s all me
My hearing is going doors are always closing
I’m useless when the sun comes out burning my thin skin skin
I can see the smoke from the factory dancing around in front of me
Like a girl I knew when I was twenty
Memories and wishes give my body twitches
I can’t tell if time is cruel or God has got some kind of issue
Here I am at another precipice struggling so hard to exist
Spent my youth robbing gas stations I’ve been trying so hard to make amends
I’m a leopard that just won’t change its spots
Let me linger and wallow enjoy the pills I’ve swallowed
Maybe there’s some answer down this road that I’ve been stuck on
Here I am at another precipice struggling so hard to exist
Why is it so hard to exist
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6. |
Robes
01:39
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Robes
I set fire to our family Christmas tree
With my grandfather’s lighter he gifted to me
The tabby was sleeping inside it
When he ran out I started laughing
Which woke up my mother and brother
They were dreaming under their covers
The very same dream about flying
Which I found utterly surprising
Outside the snow is falling like dandruff
People are screaming running in panic
All of the neighbors wrapped in their robes
It was better than I could have hoped
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7. |
You Asked For It
02:00
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You Asked For It
I’ve stopped trying to find
That ugly place inside
Where all my demons hide
I think I’ll just let it be
I think I’ll just wait and see
I want to live for another day
Stop looking for the only way
I’ll pick up my guitar and play
I think I’ll just leave it be
I think I’ll just wait and see
I’ve stopped trying to find
That ugly place inside
Where all my demons hide
I think I’ll just leave it be
I think I’ll just wait and see
I don’t have to figure it out
Know what the fuck it’s all about
I don’t have to be on high alert
Hell, I don’t want my life to hurt
I want to live for another day
Stop looking for the only way
I’ll pick up my guitar and play
I think I’ll just leave it be
I think I’ll just wait and see
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8. |
Promises
03:39
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Promises
You said, Babe, I’m getting’ on a plane
Need to find a place where I can start again
You’ve spent your life in Ohio
And this old town has never felt like home
I’m stuck on this ground and you’re flying away
I’m stuck on this ground and there’s nothing left to say
When I said I had to stay you held me and you wept
We said goodbye to the promises we’d kept
It’s been three years; the drinks are getting stronger
The days are moving fast; the nights are getting longer
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9. |
Before Night
03:40
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Before Night
Baby I’m hungry and tired
Stuck like a turtle on my back
Searching for good signs horizons
A crane to get this train back on its track
Shake me like a tree until I lose my leaves
In this life there’s never guarantees
Leaking through the windshield the moonroof
Sunlight dancing lines across my face
These roads are crumbly uncertain
Somehow seeming wildly out of place
Breathe into my mouth resuscitate my lungs
How can I be good for anyone
I can’t fight I’m weak-willed loose teeth hard pills
Bad blood soft mind poor health a rough goddamned time
Watching these contrails and red-tails
Everyone moves faster than I can
Then I look down see letters
Come Home tattooed there across my hand
Can’t remember what a farm smells like
But I’ll be in the shit before it’s night before night
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10. |
Cross-Eyed in Barstow
05:15
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Cross-Eyed in Barstow
Cross-eyed in Barstow I saw a halo
Hang like a hummingbird frozen
Then you walked in a lioness stalking
My heart squeaked as it opened
In a way that I’d been hoping
Belly to the bar your forearm was scarred
You honked (spit) when you laughed at my jokes
Drinking your liquor you showed me some pictures
Life had you pinned to the ropes
Sometimes that’s how it goes
Brought me to the trainyard Then Foglesong Park
Dogs ran through the streets We swung on the swings in the heat
Hands in my pockets moonlight upon us
Everything felt kind of weird
You climbed on my lap blew off an eyelash
Then licked the Shlitz from beard
Whispered don’t disappear
Walking down H Street you turned the face me
The sun was just starting to crown
Come home with me now you sang aloud
Let me loose and spun around
Got dizzy then fell down
Back at your trailer You said you felt safer
We lived there in chaos Until that gray day you walked
I’ll try to believe you the next time I see you
When you say you’ve fallen back in love
Put your cards on the table give me an earful
I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough/ You know I won’t give up
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11. |
Bruises
03:08
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Bruises
Remember those blackberries
Bobbing in sugared cream
The dawn it was dew-luminous
On those summer leaves
Young hands among the thorns
Trouble not yet born
Crickets abuzz with rising heat
The thick air stung ripe
T-shirts were our baskets
A haul we couldn’t hide
Fingers sticky sweet
Mom, she made the cream
I can taste that purple now
A bruise left in my mouth
I can still recall that day
My father on the couch…
Young hands among thorns
Trouble not yet born
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burst & bloom records Maine
Burst & Bloom is a small, independent record label and book publisher based in Kittery and Bath, ME.
burst & bloom records recommends:
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