1. |
Almost Halloween
02:59
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Almost Halloween
I’ve been playing the ponies losing all kinds of money
It’s makes me feel worthless devoid of a purpose
She tried not to catch it she was easy and reckless
It’s been a terrible weekend all practice and pretense
We saw her friend Eddie but it didn’t upset me
He helped with the numbers before we went under
Annie we’ve been here before
Trying to make one last score
It’s a little distracting this plan she’s been hatching
She looks at the horses all proud and amorphous
It’s fairly intrinsic once you’ve been in it
She recounted what happened that week in Manhattan
Getting caught with a bundle her recidivist uncle
How a plan comes untethered when you’re squished by the pressure
Annie you just want to be seen
And it’s almost Halloween
Sneaking on the Greyhound bus heading who know where
Still a little tipsy from the nips we stole from Blaire
Slumped down in the backseat quiet as we can
Counting all the dimes and quarters the money that she scammed
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2. |
Tailspin
03:36
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Tailspin
I don’t know what to do my lungs are filled with glue
And no one ever sees the possibility in me
I don’t know where to go I lost my feet in the snow
Take me out to the woodshed I’m up to my head
Everything’s going faster lead me out to the pasture
Going into a tailspin straight into the ocean
I don’t know who to trust everyone is too much
The world is filled with strangers and entertainers
I don’t know why it’s so weird people disappear
Somebody’s taken away all my faith
Everything’s going faster lead me out to the pasture
Going into a tailspin straight into the ocean
I’ve been ravaged by time throw me down in the mine
Tie me down to the train tracks and never come back
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3. |
How I Think I Am
02:38
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How I Think I Am
I was so complacent then
Believing in the government
Every indication said
Misgivings were in my head
A proposal a funeral
I lost you at the terminal
You were harboring a secret
Like pyramids in Egypt
Walking at the water’s edge
Replaying the things you said
Hoping for some wiggle room
Trying not to be consumed
You were messed up and angry
Your mother wanted to hang me
And her husband with the mustache
All he did was laugh
I’m never how I think I am
I don’t even know my own hands
Laying in the kiddie pool
Replaying how I was fooled
All those opportunities
Think what you could do to me
Remembering you
Is like watching the earth from the moon
Blot out the sun
It’s not good for anyone
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4. |
I'm Not a Robot
03:16
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Mind Reader
I’m not a liar I’m just defiant
Merely a product of the way my maker made me
I’m not a robot why would you say that
I feel a lot but I’m not feeling you anymore
I watch the sunset like I’m looking at a movie
The way it rearranges everything inside me
I’m not a cheater why would I need to
You said some wild things but nobody believed you
I’m not the problem though I’ve sure got ‘em
There’s nothing wrong with feeling everything inside you
I read your face like I am studying a novel
You lost your brother when he fell into a bottle
I’m not your father why would I bother
I never tried to be the thing that would control you
You are the liar it’s how you’re wired
You see fluidity in all the words you utter
I come from a long line of illustrious mind readers
Somehow sometime I’ll surely make you a believer
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5. |
My Own Heartbeat
02:29
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My Own Heartbeat
Remembering that night and the park we were at
I did an impression of your father’s laugh
You in the headlights in front of the car
Dancing that dance and looking bizarre
Lately I hear my own heartbeat
When I lay down to sleep and it scares me
Remembering the day we met in New York
Eating hot chestnuts watching you walk
Horses in the park I gave you my jacket
You started squealing when we saw the rabbit
Lately I hear my own heartbeat
When I lay down to sleep
Remembering that week we took to the cape
Sharing the details your latest mistake
Snow on the sand seals passing by
You asked me why we never tried
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6. |
Sorry Song
03:48
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Sorry Song
Sorry that I sneezed so hard my glasses left my face
Sorry that I said your brother looks like Norman Bates
Sorry all the ice cream melted on the way back home
Sorry that my hands were sweaty when I met your mom
I know my first impression was terrible
Everybody says that I’m incurable it’s the chemicals
Sorry that I told you all the details of my dream
Sorry I freaked out and ran when you got scared and screamed
Sorry that I shot your father’s musket from the roof
I was kind of drunk and guess I didn’t think it through
I know my first impression was terrible
Everybody says that I’m incurable it’s the chemicals
I made you a list of all my favorite candy bars
Baby Ruth then Butterfinger Milky Way and Mars
Snickers Payday Kit Kat 100 Grand and Almond Joy
But I lost a tooth in a Charleston Chew as a boy
Sorry that I took your sister’s diet pills then puked
Sorry all the movie plots made me so confused
Sorry that my hands don’t work the way you think they should
Sorry I keep sneezing every time when I get wood
I know my first impression was terrible
Everybody says that I’m incurable it’s the chemicals
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7. |
Imminent Ascension
04:08
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Imminent Ascension
I remember your face and the way that you laughed from the tv show
They said that they thought you had fled all the down to Mexico
But here you are in this shitty old diner on interstate eighty
Reading the paper and drinking your bourbon and coffee
Eating my burger and fries I pretend not to notice
I can come off a little untethered pathetic and hopeless
Still I keep watching your muscles for straining and twitches
Head down low I play with my empty dishes
I am the student of everything evil
Try to stay quiet and blend with the people
No one would question my good intentions
Until they’re facing imminent ascension
Watching the way that your eyes keep casing the scene
Pretending I’m bored I leaf through a sports magazine
My heart in my chest keeping time like a hummingbird’s wings
All we can do is breathe in and stave off our yearnings
You stand up and stretch then blow a big kiss to the waitress
The light in the door as you step through makes you seem shapeless
I think about following watching your moves from a distance
You step to the cab then drive in your truck full of chickens
I am the student of everything that’s evil
Try to stay quiet and blend with the people
No one would question my good intentions
Until they’re facing imminent ascension
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8. |
Worries and Wishes
03:52
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Worries and Wishes
The sun burned my skin I breathed out then breathed in
Called out for my mother who died in October
I said please please make me whole again
All those bodies in buildings my teeth full of fillings
Not meaning to be glib I just want to live
Would you kindly let me live my friend
I made a list of my worries and wishes
God how this world can be so vicious
Took another hard hit lost blood in the carpet
It dripped dripped dripped like a faucet
I’m just a skeleton in this skin suit
Precious and lonely I’m not no phony
Curl myself into a corner try and ignore her
Please come and see me in my dreams
I made a list of my worries and wishes
God how this world can be so damn vicious
I’ve been spending my days in
Abandoned department stores
Ghostly lost mannequins
And orange carpets worn
God’s plucking up loved ones
Knocking them down like marbles
As I watch through the window
Get lost in the sparkles
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9. |
Deliverance
03:45
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Deliverance
A legendary bastard spitting with laughter
Outside in the yard dogs run in circles
Faster and faster
Wall full of stuffed birds blood in the floorboards
Despite the inertia I can’t go forwards
Licking Mary Jo’s armpit spilling blood on the carpet
Snow’s falling hard a blanket of hope
God is an artist
Down in the basement boxes of keepsakes
There is no deliverance from all my mistakes
I’m writing this letter confessing proclivities
And all my misdeeds
We know in this life we’ll find just desserts
But there’s no guarantees
Another alcoholic waxing nostalgic
My linear mind is glitchy and wrong
Pathological
Here in this house the world is a whisper
I fixate on outcomes and those who might miss her
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10. |
The Apologist
04:18
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The Apologist
I’ve been absolutely paralyzed
Sorting through the reasons why
Flopping around on the couch like a goddamned fish
All our friends are calling me
But I am a catastrophe
Trying to decide tonight if I even exist
I’m an unreliable narrator at best
But I record all my dreams onto cassette
There were signs that I shouldn’t have ignored
As I boarded up my front door
Hoping to keep the zombies out a while
I’ve had electrotherapy
Drank some poison for my slow disease
Let myself be prodded and defiled
No one knows how I became so disavowed
I’m lamenting all the things time won’t allow
I’d be happy with a human heart
A sliver moon through the darkest dark
I know the medicine rarely works
The side effects make me berserk
I hear a buzzing when I close my eyes
When I walk around I’m disguised
Someone said that I was the hollowest
The metric is out of whack
I can’t help but skew the facts
Somehow now I’m the apologist x2
I hear the construction sounds
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burst & bloom records Maine
Burst & Bloom is a small, independent record label and book publisher based in Kittery and Bath, ME.
burst & bloom records recommends:
Squirrel In The Garden
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Only the best. UNBUNNY.
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